Let's Play Barber!
by Humor Queen Merc
Summary: When Momiji finds out that Kusenagi is like the human version of a Chia Pet, what kind of insanity will ensue?


Author's notes – Omake! Omake! Omake! Omake! That's right folks, time for another omake a la Merc. This one goes out to Ukyou, who gave me the idea for this omake ("Momiji's big hair cut betweeen blue Seed and BS2. Intentional or not.")! Oh will I ever have fun with this. I have TONS of ideas and no time to write them in, so be patient with these, ok?

Rated – PG for swearing

Note – This takes place between Blue Seed 1 and Blue Seed 2, a couple of months after Suzano-o attacked.

Let's Play Barber! 

            Momiji Fujimiya stomped through the crowded Tokyo streets. Harrumphing to herself repeatedly, she stopped at the edge of a crosswalk and waited patiently for the walk light to come on. 

            "I have so much stupid homework. I cannot _believe_ this." She fumed as the light turned to walk and she pushed her way through the crowd to get across the street. Making her way back to the Kunikida residence, Momiji stomped through the door and threw her bag at the wall, which hit with a loud thud and slammed to the ground.

            "What the hell do you have in there? Bricks?" Kusenagi asked as he walked up behind Momiji and putting his hands on her shoulders, scaring her half to death.

            "Kusenagi!" She yelped as she hopped around and looked at her assailant. 

            "Made a pretty good dent in the wall." Kusenagi responded as though he hadn't heard her, motioning with his head at the bag and the large dent in the wall above it.

            "Argh, it's my first day back at school and what do my teachers do? Assign me a bazillion pages to read and two tests to study for tomorrow!" She said with a red face as she motioned at her bag with her right arm. "That's why my bag is like that. It's got seven textbooks in it!" Kusenagi, noticing that for the first time since he had pretty much met her that Momiji was downright enraged, took a few cautious steps back.

            "Well, I figured you might want a little bit of a cap after school, so I was kinda wonderin' if you wanted to fly over to the park and pick up some ice-cream."

            "Why? The park's a wreck and there are government agents _everywhere_. If any of them saw you, they'd shoot you right out of the sky." Momiji said as her mood darkened even more, her thoughts turning over in her head about how half of Tokyo was destroyed two months ago when Suzano-o attacked.

            "Not if I had you with me." Kusenagi said,

            "Ha! That's a laugh, they especially want me dead now, seeing as how my not sacrificing myself caused half of the city to fall to ruin." Kusenagi, who by now was a little ticked at Momiji's grumpiness, decided to call off the special date he had planned for later on after the park and leave.

            "Whatever, have fun with your work then." He said as he started walking away from the door. Momiji huffed and puffed and looked at her bag. With a forlorn look on her face, she gave it a good swift kick into the stairs and called for Kusenagi to wait up for her.

            Upon arriving at the park, which they did by foot, as even Kusenagi knew after encountering one government agent earlier that flying there would only result in many submachine guns firing in his direction, the two ordered some ice-cream and sat down on a bench. Looking across the street, Momiji gave a muffled yelp.

            "What?" Kusenagi asked, ice-cream dripping all over his hand.

            "Look Kusenagi. That barber shop across the street is still standing!" Momiji said with excitement,

            "What barber shop?" Kusenagi said as he looked around in confusion.

            "That one, over there." Momiji said as she took his hand in hers and pointed it at the shop. 

            "So what's the big deal then?" Kusenagi asked once he finally spotted the small building,

            "It was right next to Suzano-o when it first came out. All of the other buildings were blown apart, but that one's still up. And what better building to remain than the one that I've been going to since I arrived here!" Momiji said with delight as she took a few licks of her ice-cream. Having failed to see any reason why he should care, Kusenagi went back to his ice-cream, only to notice that it had completely melted all over his hand and jeans. 

            "Damn." He swore to himself as he stood up and walked over to a nearby fountain, where he dunked himself in. Completely bewildered as to why Kusenagi just hurled himself into fountain for no apparent reason, Momiji called out to him. Kusenagi climbed out and walked back over to her.

            "Got ice-cream on my outfit." He said, 

            "Kusenagi…your _hair_." Momiji said as she stared wide-eyed at his head, which had sprouted a good six inches of additional hair in about thirty seconds.

            "Damn, looks like those seeds are germinating again." Kusenagi said as he tassled his wet hair.

            "Your what are doing what?" Momiji said, her eyes remaining wide as saucers.

            "I'm part Aragami, and damnit all, my hair is one of the parts of me that's a plant. So when they get wet they sometimes, well, the roots have seeds, and when they get wet they germinate and start to grow."

            "So what then…"

            "Basically, I'm a walking, talking Chia Pet." Momiji, understanding the last statement, suddenly looked at him with excitement. Kusenagi took a step back when he saw a new fire in Momiji's eyes start to light up.

            "Oh no…"

            "Kusenagi…"

            "No way."

            "Come on Kusenagi!"

            "No."

            "Please?"

            "No chance."

            "Pretty please?"

            "No."

            "Pretty please with sugar on top?"

            "Not no way, not no how!"

            "Come _on_ Kusenagi!"

            "No!"

            "Please? You love me don't you? If you love me, you'll let me!"

            "NO!!!"

            "Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!" 

            "Nononononononono!"

            "Say yes!"

            "No!"

            "Yes!"

            "**_NO!!!_**"

            "Well if you're not gonna let me cut it, who will?"

            "I do it myself."

            "But _how_?" Momiji asked as she eyed his locks with anticipation, her imagination running wild as she daydreamed about holding a nice pair of scissors in her hand and giving his long locks a nice new look. _"He'd look so funny in a mullet."_ Momiji thought to herself as she waited for Kusenagi to answer her question.

            "Like this." He said as he grabbed her hand and dragged her into a secluded area of the park. Once alone, Kusenagi dispatched his green arm blades. With three graceful swipes, Kusenagi cut his hair perfectly, the style back to the way it used to be.

            "Wow! How'd you do that?" Momiji said, geniunly interested at how he was able to do in thirty seconds what most barbers took thirty minutes to do.

            "It's easy, I just retract and swipe. Here, I'll show you." Kusenagi said as he hopped behind Momiji and took some of her hair.

            "Be careful Kusenagi, I like my hair the way it is." Momiji warned,

            "I know, I'm just giving a demonstration. I'm not gonna do anything." Kusenagi said as he gripped her hair firmly.

            "Now, it's really easy. You see, all you have to do is take out the blade like this, position your arm like this, and then swipe like this." And without thinking, Kusenagi took a swipe. Feeling a draft behind her neck Momiji turned around to see a very pale Kusenagi.

            "Oh crap…" Kusenagi said in a shaky voice as he slowly backed away from Momiji. Curious as to what he meant, Momiji called out his name and took a step foreward. Suddenly, she noticed that her head felt much lighter than it used to, and that her neck was a bit cooler than normal. Putting her hand behind her head, Momiji touched her neck, a most unusual thing. Suddenly, the realization hit her.

            "No…"

            "I am so sorry Momiji…" Looking down, Momiji saw the majority of her hair on the ground, the little white bow still holding it together. With a yelp, she felt behind her head and noticed that her hair quit coming right below her shoulders.

            "Kusenagi…"

            "Momiji, I know how this looks and…and…" Kusenagi stammered, knowing full well that he was about to endure the wrath of Momiji, something which in her state of mind would be worse than fifty wraths of Koume. With a murderous look in her eye, Momiji told Kusenagi to leave.

            "You've got thirty seconds." She told him flatly. Not one to take any chances, Kusenagi leapt up and flew as far away from Momiji as he could. Not far behind him, he heard a loud angry scream, followed by a stream of swear words that would make a sailor blush. Flying to the TAC offices, Kusenagi flew through the window and ran to the other end of the room.

            "Kusenagi?" Matsudaira asked,

            "What's going on?" Kunikida questioned as he stood up, his concern growing as he looked at a very pale, sweaty, and frankly freaked out Kusenagi.

            "Whatever you do, don't go near Momiji! And if she asks, I'm in Antarctica, punishing myself." And with that, Kusenagi yelped and ran to the window, jumping out and flying off.

            "That…was very odd." Kunikida said, a giant sweatdrop forming on his brow.

            "Indeed. I'll have to tell Momiji about this when I come over to do her hair tonight."

            "Do her hair?" Koume asked,

            "Yeah, I'm French-braiding it tonight for her so that she can sleep on it and have wavy hair tomorrow. She thought Kusenagi might like it." 

            "Ah." Was all Koume said, and everyone went back to work. 

The End 

****

Hehe! I thought of the funniest thing when I saw that idea. I hope everyone liked it. And for Kusenagi's sake, I hope he gets used to the idea of being a headless Chia Pet if Momiji gets her hands on him anytime soon. I hope you all enjoyed it. **Please review, it's my incentive to keep writing omake's.**


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